The Pizza Hut Incident

...In this episode of 50 Worst Dates we see physical injuries reach a new level and wonder if Christine will ever make it out of a date unscathed, or out of our show alive. The setting is a local Pizza Hut in her hometown.
This is... 50 Worst Dates! (Applause)

***Setting: Christine sitting in a chair starting the episode with a monologue/interview with our show host***

Show host: So we're all curious to know, what happened after your glorious one syllable sentence greeting to Elder?

Christine: I had scheduled myself to work from one to four so that I had an easy way to leave and no awkward "well...umm...we're going home now," or anything like that. As I was about to leave, his dad told me that they were headed to Pizza Hut, I told him I had to work, and he didn't really care and told me I was coming. So I called my office and they said I could come in an hour late.

The Pizza Hut we were going to is supposedly on the same side of town as the airport. I wasn't positive there still was one over there, so I thought I would just follow them to whatever Pizza Hut they were thinking.

***Changes to Christine driving in her car***

So we took Skyline Drive out of the airport and at the stoplight they turned right and then suddenly turned left into some neighborhoods. "Where the heck are we going? There are no Pizza Huts in these neighborhoods that I know of." Suddenly the neighborhood dumped us back onto Skyline, and we took that to Broadway and then on to the Pizza Hut there on Broadway. I laughed heartily to myself over this little detour that took us back to the road we had been originally on. I will give them the credit though that they don't live in Idaho Falls.
Jana was texting me as I was driving to Pizza Hut and told me not to do anything embarrassing like "belch, or spill something on yourself." Thank You Jana! I knew from that moment I was jinxed and something bad was going to happen.

***Now inside Pizza Hut. Christine narrates the scene we see.***

Lunch went relatively harmless. We did all the games on the kids menu while we waited for our drinks. After the drinks came, the kids and I shot the straw covers at each other. I realize now that probably wasn't the most lady like and that my mom will die when she sees this episode. But what can I say? I may be physically 19, but lets all be serious. I really am 10 on the inside. Get me around a 6 year old and an 8 year old and things like this are bound to happen. As regular viewers already know, when I get into a situation where I'm nervous I start to do stupid things. That is why we have this show. I'm not sure why I do them, I look back and wonder what was wrong with me and if that was actually me there. The cameras don't lie.

I looked down at my phone and realized I had 9 minutes to get to work. So I hurried and finished my dessert bread stick and said my goodbyes. I turned to Kade and he looked at me like he wasn't quite sure what to do. So I held out my hand and gave him a firm shake and said "I'll see ya later Elder." Phew! I didn't embarrass myself. Everyone laughed at the sudden return of my vocabulary and wit. Even though it wasn't a full return, I had made it past one syllable sentences.

***Flashes back to Christine sitting alone in "interview position"***

Now I must explain my distaste with the architecture within Pizza Huts. Some architect somewhere thought it would be cool to have walls around the waiting area that were wood up to about 4 feet and then they are glass for about another 2 feet. I'm not sure what the architect was thinking the day he designed this trap, or what he was smoking.

***Returns to Pizza Hut***
After my glorious wit I had to make a quick exit before I did/said anything stupid. So I walked toward the waiting area, which is of course how you get to the entrance/exit. I thought I had made it around that strange wall and turned back to wave bye to his family....

***Suddenly Christine slams into one of the walls of the waiting area***

Thud.

I had began to turn my head back forward when I hit the wall. Apparently these manifestations of architectural strangeness were in an L shape, and I had walked straight into one of them. I now talk to you with a bruised wrist because I hit it so hard. Let's replay that and you can see how I hit the wall full on. Luckily my head was not turned fully forward, or I might have broken my nose. But I did hit my chest.(Men and Children cover your ears!) All the female viewers can understand why at that point I felt tears of pain begin to well up and began to think I would never be able to feed my new babies whenever that day came.

Embarrassed I turned back to see what I knew was going to be an entire family rolling on the ground laughing at this stupid city girl who had just walked into a wall. And to my amazement, as you can see, no one was reacting. I came to a decision at that point, by some grace of The Universe they had not seen such an humiliating moment, or they all pitied this city girl with no brain and didn't have the heart to laugh at my misfortune. I believe it was most likely the latter. I immediately turned tail and ran out the door hoping not to hit another wall on the way out. I made it to my car and then just sat for a moment replaying the moment and wondering if the pain would go away any time soon.

I immediately called Jana and thanked her for jinxing me, (I don't recall her exact wording on this as I was still trying to manage my way through the pain.) but it seemed like she said I was the comedic relief in a movie/TV show and that my moment had been for the viewers at home. This isn't a TV show is it? We're just doing these interviews for my memoir right? No one's actually going to see these tapes right?
...right?

***Appears the show host***
Well viewers, what is your vote? Is this the worst date? If you think Christine's is the worst date then please vote to keep her on the show. At the end of the show the phone lines will be open for two hours and you can call or text the number that will come on the screen in a moment to vote for her. Remember, if you want to see more of Christine and her Worst Dates you need to vote.

Welcome Home Elder Bingham, Welcome Home

***Disclaimer*** I do not have a fancy camera, or Jana's skill with a point and shoot, so my pictures are not the best. Also, people wouldn't stop moving and hugging. I wonder why.

I'm a day late (but not a dollar short luckily) on this post. So I don't want to hear any complaining, or I will turn this blog around, you hear me? Ok.

I will start by heaving a large sigh of relief.

*SIGH*

I know that no one thought I would actually make it through the two years. And I'm sure there was a betting pool on how soon and why/how I would Dear John him. Sorry if any of you lost a lot of money. I can now proudly say that I wrote him for the entire two years. I credit most of this to me being stubborn and not wanting to be one of "those girls" who write them off within the first three months to a year. Also I kept telling myself, if I'm going to break up with him I will be darned if I don't do it in person. And since that wasn't an option, I stuck it out no matter what discouragement came my way. One of my friends told me "He should get an award...He is the probably the only guy that could have gotten you to wait for him." She's right. I don't think I would have agreed to write any other guy on his mission, and sometimes I think I was a little crazy when I agreed to write him. Mostly because I hate handwriting anything, and 104 (or something close to that)handwritten letters was near torture sometimes.

But since I'm sure you're not here to read about the last two years, and you only want to know how the aiport went, I will move on to that topic.

I took the morning off from work so that I could sleep in and have plenty of time to get ready before I left to meet his flight which would be arriving at 12:20. A few weeks ago I bought a cute new shirt just for this day. It's even yellow, and you all know how much I fear wearing yellow.

***Sidenote*** I had the wild idea to perm my hair two weeks ago, and so now I have curly hair. I did not spend hours doing my hair like that, 5 minutes actually.

Here is one of his nieces (not being named for privacy) and myself. I love this girl. She has the blue-est (is that a word?) eyes in the world. I told her to make a funny face with me, but of course she just smiled like an angel and let me look silly as always. And yes, I'm a little pink. I made the mistake of mowing the lawn this weekend and got a sunburn.

Here he is!!! I think his grandpa was making fun of his lack of muscle. This guy has farmed all his life and still does. I don't know how old he is, but I hope I can be half as healthy as he is when I'm old. Funny thing happened though. As you all know with this airport you can see them come down the stairs, and then they come through those automatic glass doors out of security. Right as he was reaching the bottom of the stairs his friend said "It would be funny if the doors didn't open and he was stuck." Well, the doors didn't open, and he was stuck. It took a good 30 seconds of standing right up against them before they opened.

I couldn't help myself, I haven't seen his face in two years, so I took a close up. But don't ask me what he is doing with his hand... I have no idea. Maybe it's a missionary thing...

And here is his nephew that basically worshipped him before he left. I didn't know if he would recognize Kade, and he didn't at first. But then suddenly he did and he wouldn't be more than 6 inches away from Kade at all times. He hung on him like this for about 10 minutes.

Here's the happy family. At least his parents. Myself and his aunt tried to get them to pose for a picture, but this was the closest we got. I think their family has an aversion to cameras.

You've probably seen your fill of pictures now. I know you're all saying, "Wait, where is the picture of you two together?" Oh now that is just a smart idea...good thing I'm not smart. I didn't think of it until this morning. So, nope, there are no pictures of me with him. Before he landed everyone was asking whether I planned to shake his hand or steal a hug. His mom waited for his dad on his mission and she said that he hugged every person there, and then he turned to her and gave her a handshake. I promised everyone I would keep it to a handshake. Well Kade had other plans, I was shooting away with my camera and then he comes over to me and says "Hey, How have you been?" I said "Great" (yes my vocabulary suddenly dropped to the word great, the first thing I said to him was "great." I deserve an award for my huge vocabulary) Then suddenly he leaned in for a hug. I stupidly said "What are you doing?" and proceeded into an "aaaah"(scared style) as he hugged me. Someone slap me please. I just made the best impression ever.

After the airport I planned to leave straight for work since I was scheduled from 1 to 4. His parents had other plans. They were headed to Pizza Hut and I had no option but to join them. Good thing my office is chill and let me come in an hour late. I will tell the Pizza Hut story in my next post, and oh boy is it juicy.