Big Girls Don't Cry...

...but I cried.

One time Pioneer Woman said "Someday I'll laugh about this...when I'm 87" I'm not sure I'll even laugh about this one when I'm 87. But it's a story that you all will hear about eventually, and I'd prefer to be the one to tell you.

I had the most forgettable week of my life the first week of December 2009. It started with me coming back from Thanksgiving break 5 days before the ASISU benefit dinner that I was doing a lot of work for. I was super stressed about it so I went out to lunch Tuesday afternoon with Grace to relax a little and hear about her trip to Disney the week before. On our way back to work/school I stopped at a light and was rearended. My beautiful new car was no longer as beautiful as she once was. The girl who hit me had no insurance, was driving on an expired license, and the owner of the car was a deported alien. It was a mess and I was angry with her. I started having back problems the next day so an appointment with the doctor was made.

Thursday morning came and I felt a little off. My back hurt, but the day just felt a little strange. I should have paid attention to that foreboding feeling. The doctor checked my back and said it was simply muscle spasms and some anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants would do the job. I was relieved. Off I went back to work/school. I was sitting behind a car at a light that traffic was backed up. I wasn't paying close enough attention and when the car in from of me let off his brakes I started to accelerate assuming the light was green. It was not. He was merely rolling forward to close the gap between him and the person in front of him. Before I knew it I was crushing my car into his. His was an SUV with a hitch; my car went under and his hitch tore up through my hood and everything under it.

Simply put, I was a basket case; I have never cried more in my entire life. For the rest of the day I burst into tears at random intervals. I had destroyed my car which Dad had been so kind to buy for me just months previously. I was ashamed of myself and couldn't even look myself in the mirror let alone face Mom and Dad. I knew my insurance was going to skyrocket and my car was very possibly totalled. Face Mom and Dad I did, with tears in my eyes and as many apologies as possible I faced them that first night. I do not recommend wrecking your car; it wrecks your confidence. I'm now terrified to drive and even riding with people I have mini panick attacks anytime I think we're getting to close to another car. My back tenses and all the muscles start to spasm remembering my first to accidents. But I learned another lesson that day, I was angry with the girl who hit me and began to not just blame her as an individual but began to stereotype her nationality. But I was put in my place in my accident when the man was Hispanic but was kind and understand and I was the dumb blonde American girl.

I, that stupid American girl, write this now with a beautifully restored car. The work the body shop did was unbelievable. They even took the time to get some parts from scrap yards to lower the price below totalled so that I could have my car back. I take my first drive in Lucy tonight to go to a friend's reception. Honestly I'm scared, but I've got to get back on the road. I'm not going to let this be like the bike accident of my childhood that kept me off my bike for an entire summer. I will conquer my fears and drive much more carefully.